severus

I don't really write fanfics, but I thought it the best way to honor Alan Rickman and collect some thoughts.

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He could feel the venom slowly take control. As his final tears fell, the silhouette of Harry gave way to a light that brightened until everything in sight had been consumed. It was Snape's turn to cross over.

Figures began to materialize out of the edge of the light.  As he looked around, he began to see faces that he knew. He is met by as mixed of a crowd as he kept during life: his parents, proud to see him again. Charity Burbage, whom he still regrets not saving. Dumbledore greeted him warmly, of course.  And death eaters. They had all realized which side he was on by now. Many of them peered sideways at him; the word 'traitor' on their lips. Others must have had a change of heart since dying, and walked up to shake his hand.

He wasn't prepared for any of this.

Severus meandered through the crowded people and memories, still in his lonesome and detached way. It was almost too much to take in. But here he felt a small beam of hope. He began looking.

Far at the back of the crowd, as if waiting for everyone else to finish their greetings, Severus caught a glimpse of dark red hair. He pushed toward it, and was almost caught off-guard when at last he saw Lily. Everything else faded from his view as he quickened his pace toward her.

She offered a smile and he picked her up in an embrace.  She still smelled like he remembered.

Lily giggled nervously and said,  "It's good to see you, too."  Severus stepped back as Lily looked up at James, taking his hand. "I hope it's not too much that we decided to come, Severus."

"Oh, no, Lily, it's delightful to see you," Snape reassured her. "I've been thinking about you, and..."

"Severus," Lily interrupted. "You know that even now we can't go back to how things used to be... I'm sorry."  She looked up at him with soft green eyes.  Some days, she still missed him.

Snape sighed. Deep down, he knew she was right. She had always been his Lily, and there was a part of her that only he knew. But things had changed, and as much as he loved her, he had to let her go.

That didn't stop it from hurting. Seventeen long years, and it had hurt every day.  Seeing her again was just one final heartbreak.

His hair fell into his face as he hung his head.  "Then why did you come?" he mumbled.

Lily turned her head to the side, the way she always had when she was worried. "I'm sorry, Severus.  I wasn't sure if it was even a good idea, but James--"

"It was my idea, Sev." James stepped in.  Snape's stomach dropped further just hearing that voice again. But this time there was something different about his face. It looked somehow softer. It seemed that death had finally wiped the sneer off of James Potter's face.

"I wouldn't let Lily miss it, because I had to see you. I just...I wanted to thank you for taking care of my son."

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